Life Told Through Rap - ATLiens
A close encounter with transcendence
Author’s note: This is a work of fiction. The only thing real about this story is the music.
“And now why do you wait? Rise and be baptized and wash away your sins, calling on His name.” – Acts 22:16
The pastor repeats these words as he gently pushes my body underwater for the first time.
We are currently in a lake, myself and another congregant, both hoping to establish a deeper connection with God.
For years, I have been searching. I regularly attended church, I frequently called on His name but it often felt like a one-sided conversation.
Unlike the others, I did not speak in tongues. Unlike the others, my body never caught the Holy Spirit. Unlike the others, there was a level of piety that I could not reach.
“And I will cleanse you from all of your idols…I will remove the heart of stone from your flesh, and I will give to you a heart of flesh.” – Ezekiel 36:25-26
“And I will give to you a heart of flesh”, these are the words that cross my mind as my body is submerged underwater for the second time.
I don’t know when I stopped feeling anything, when I stopped believing: in myself, the world and the possibility of a better future.
The worst thing is the silence, being alone with my thoughts, constantly feeling numb. I long for someone to hold me, I long for something to envelop me, I long to be part of something greater than myself, to be reassured that I am not on this journey alone.
“Therefore, we have been buried with him through baptism into death…so also we may live a new life.” – Romans 6:4
I rise from the water a third time and feel a faith the size of a mustard seed grow within me. I dry myself and don my white Atlanta Braves cap while the other congregant places a green turban on his head. We both nod at each other and step in through the doors of a Cadillac Seville, ready for whatever road ahead awaits us.
Further Reading
[1] Atlanta to Atlantis: An OutKast Retrospective, Pitchfork
[2] Kiana Alejandra, New Again, Soul Notes By Kiana
[3] Gray Hendryx, Monsieur Neary, What Do You Want?, Bright Wall/Dark Room
[4] Brian Phillips, Aliens, Archaeology, And The Atomic Bomb: A Road Trip Through The Ruins Of The American West, MTV News
[5] Jia Tolentino, Losing Religion and Finding Ecstasy in Houston, The New Yorker
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"I frequently called on His name but it often felt like a one-sided conversation." Felt.
I think of my own baptizism and still struggled with my religion. Longing for something more but didn't know how to get it.
This is real. Thank you so much for sharing. 🖤